Several weeks ago, I had Covid. Physically, it was intense, but what’s actually been even more challenging has been the mental and emotional experience during and post the physical symptoms. The best way that I can describe it is a feeling of emptiness. I’ve felt insatiable, like a hungry ghost. A feeling of, “What’s the point of anything?”

My initial reaction was to try and run away from these feelings, distract myself until they hopefully went away. As usual, that didn’t work. Then I started to try and lean into the emptiness, be with it, not try to change it, or fix it, but merely allow it. Looking down the dark well of emptiness, shouting my curiosities into it, the following is some of what has been reflected back to me, so far.

The usefulness of the vessel depends upon it’s emptiness.

The melody is pretty because of the notes that are not played.

The beautiful painting springs forth from the blank canvas.

It’s an adventure precisely because we don’t know what’s going to happen.

In order to be found, I must be lost.

In order to wake up, I must be asleep.

In order to know, I must not.

In order to desire, there must be a void.

From silence, comes sound.

From stillness, comes movement.

From space, comes form.

From darkness, comes light.

From the end, comes the beginning.

From nothing, I can be anything.

From nowhere, I can go anywhere.

When I think I know, I stop the flow of knowing.

When I’m empty, I can be filled.

From meaninglessness, comes meaning.

From purposelessness, comes purpose.

From emptiness, comes fulfillment.

From nothing, comes everything.

Love, Wade.