“My life is so hard because…I don’t have enough money, or time, I hate my work, my friends or partner don’t appreciate me, my family is the worst, my health is bad, etc.” These are all reasons we come up with as to why we can’t be happy now. Often if it’s not one, it’s the other. The common denominator tends to be, “It’s not me that’s the problem, it’s that or them.

Personally, whenever I find myself operating at a low emotional frequency: sad, depressed, irritated, impatient, angry, jealous, or judgmental, I can bet that I have allowed myself to slip into a victim state of consciousness. I’ve started believing that something or someone out there is in the way of and therefore has the power to control my happiness. Hence, no matter what happens circumstantially, it’s a losing battle. 

When I become aware of my mistaken perspective and am able to move towards complete ownership and responsibility for my emotional and mental state and therefore my physical circumstance, I gain the capability to release all circumstances and/or people of ultimate blame for my internal state, resulting in my feeling empowered. I then re-introduce all of the beliefs and practices that keep me healthy, inspired, grateful, and energized and even before I take any direct action toward the circumstances or people that I thought were at fault, my experience begins to change.

What I expect, I experience.

What I look for, I find.

What I pay attention to, grows. 

Thereupon, if I still feel it is necessary, I am able to take action accordingly towards shifting my circumstances, yet now I am able to act from a place of inner sufficiency, fulfillment, confidence, gratitude and surrender. Before long, what transpires is frictionless effort, flow, abundance, reciprocity and progressive change. 

As always, it’s an inside job first: evolutionary, progressive change happens not from the outside in, but from the inside out. So whenever we are feeling low, or victimized, I find it powerful to ask, “How might I, my perspective, my approach, my resistance, actually be at the root, or at least partly responsible for this issue in my life?” Merely by asking this question, looking inward rather than projecting outward, I find that everything begins to change, for the better.  

Aloha, Wade.


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