Why are we doing what we are doing? Do we know? Do we know it intimately? Do we know where our why came from? Is it from our parents, our teachers, our peers, our mentors, society at large or is it from our own personal experience and beliefs? And how does that why make us feel?
Sometimes we’re so focused purely on the actions we think we need to take, that we don’t stop to ask ourselves why we are taking them. Or maybe we did ask ourselves why in the beginning, but somewhere along the way we stopped and have just been continuing to routinely perform the actions.
The trouble with this is that the relevancy of everything changes, moment to moment. Our why in the beginning may have been absolutely relevant for us at the time, but may have actually lost its relevancy days, weeks, or years ago. This could point to why certain actions yielded positive results in the past but no longer seem to. Maybe we're now experiencing a lot of friction in response to the same actions that once felt frictionless.
I have found that when we don’t keep checking in with our why, it can be that much easier to unknowingly adopt the why’s of others. Then one day we may wake up, look around and realize we have no idea anymore why we are doing what we are doing: Suddenly it feels so empty or painful.
I started dancing when I was about two years old. My why was simply because I loved it and it felt good. Then I started doing it professionally and after experiencing a lot of external success, I started dancing for more externally focused reasons such as recognition, adulation, fame, power, and money. But I wasn’t checking in with my why's and how they were making me feel, I was blazing forward at a break-neck pace and stopping for nothing. What happened was that I got all those things: adulation, fame, power and money but I wasn’t happy. In the process, my relationship with dance had fallen apart. I no longer had a “why” to dance that felt good or that I even understood, so I quit and tried to erase dance from my life forever. Then after years of self-work, internal space was made and dance flew back into my heart. I remembered and allowed my why to evolve: It feels good, it heals me, it heals others and it enables me a platform to connect with people and hopefully make a positive impact on their lives. I still must keep checking in with that why frequently as relevancy changes, moment to moment.
So, if your charmed, maybe experiment with starting a daily practice of stopping for a moment, prior to taking action, and asking yourself, “why?” Then, notice how that why makes you feel and take action accordingly.
Wishing you health, love and the revelation or your fulfillment.